i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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