He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
