Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
