I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
