i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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