I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
