her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
