so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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