FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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