my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you mean i was at the winter classic?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
