There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
