Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
