Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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