She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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