come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
