using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
