I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
