I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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