so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
