is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
