4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize