We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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