so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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