morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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