I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
