Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
