My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
