Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize