i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
