i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
