I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just saw a hot homeless man
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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