apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize