you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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