have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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