your room smells of hookers.
And success
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Welp...herpes.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
two words: eviction party
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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