My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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