I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ttyl tear gas
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
