Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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