No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She tied me up with her honor cords...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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