Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
