well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
