Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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