She is in my trunk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
