are you so shy because you have an std?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i scared a bird with my dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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