Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
