Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize