You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
