i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize