I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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