I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
