quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
