I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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