just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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