All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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