At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
