careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
