just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring