her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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