remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
and you fell through a lawn chair
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